


Spectatorship

by afterandalasia



Category: Aladdin (1992)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Canon Era, Community: disney_kink, Crack, F/M, Flying Sex, POV Carpet, POV First Person, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-03
Updated: 2011-06-03
Packaged: 2018-01-23 19:04:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1576244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterandalasia/pseuds/afterandalasia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Commentary on the mating habits of humans, by a sentient flying carpet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spectatorship

**Author's Note:**

> From the anonymous [prompt](http://disney-kink.livejournal.com/4400.html?thread=2918960#t2918960) at Disney Kink. I went more towards option three... kinda like the dog watching.

Always, _always_ when I'm trying to sleep.  
  
Seriously, people. Humans. There are other places to do this, you know. Oh, I know full well what you're doing; I've been alive longer than you have, thank _you_ , and even if we don't come into being _that_ way I know that you do. Honestly, a good loom and a sorcerer who's handy with his incarnations is a lot less messy than this.  
  
If you fall off I suppose I'm going to have to go fetch you. Don't expect it to be before the last minute, though.  
  
Really, though, why do you get so enthusiastic about reproducing? It's really not very efficient, you know, so I can hardly say that it's something to be proud of. You seem to have to do it a lot, as well. Surely it must get boring after a while. I mean, it's not like I've ever seen humans screaming and moaning because they're _brerathing_ , honestly. Show some sense here.  
  
Look, kid, I know you mean well, but I really don't think that putting your face there is going to help. That's not what you need to get her preg-- oh, I give up. Genie needs to draw you a diagram or something.  
  
Yes, his name is Aladdin. We got that. Well done, Princess.  
  
I swear, I will never understand humans. They do the weirdest--  
  
Get your feet out of my tassles, woman! And, Aladdin yesIknowthat'syourname, while _you're_ at it... whatever it is... you can get your knees off my stitching as well.  
  
Honestly. Some humans have no respect.  
  
I should drop you both in the fountain and go play rock-paper-scissors with the monkey again. At least he's got some sense in his head.  
  
If this leaves a mess there'll be trouble. I _can_ control where we go, you know.  
  
Oh, there we go. Apparently you do actually know what you're doing, or you actually figured out that your face doesn't go there. Now all that you need to do is stop pulling those faces over her shoulder at me and we'll be good.  
  
Right?  
  
Look, it's not my fault if she gets rug burn. I'd better not get blamed for this foolishness.  
  
What do you mean, you're coming? You're already here, you stupid humans, and despite temptation I haven't taken you anywhere else. This despite the fact that there really are _much_ better places for this.  
  
If that grabbing leaves wrinkles, I'm not going to be happy, either.  
  
Is that it? Really? Well, I suppose I should be grateful it didn't go on for too long. And if you're going to stay still for a bit so there's no risk of me _dropping you_ \-- honestly, you can't fly yourselves, you know, leave it to ol' Carpet to have to keep you in the air -- then I'm taking you back to the palace. Right now.  
  
And then I'm going to go hang myself up somewhere and get a good cleaning. This is worse than all that sand getting into my stitching, I swear it.  
  
Blasted humans. Oh well, at least they're happy.  
  
And I learnt plenty long ago how to block those images out...


End file.
